I started this web site, this weekly philosophy, almost a year ago now! I started this site so it would force me to write. Not only to write, but also to think...to ponder the great questions in life and share my insights with others.

Now that I look back at all the "philosophy" I've written, I realize that very little, if any, of my articles have anything meaningful to say. My articles seem to be skin-deep compositions about how school sucks, work sucks, perhaps followed by the typical "Hang in there" article. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who talk a lot but never really say anything. Now I fear I'm becoming a writer comparable to that.

After thinking about it for some time, I think there are two reasons why my writing is significantly less than philosophical. The first is that I'm not capable of sharing most of the topics or events in my life with such a general audience. The internet allows me to share my thoughts with anyone in the world, and that is exactly the problem. I'm not ready or not able to pour my heart out or to share my deepest thoughts, the thoughts that have true meaning in my life. While it is unfortunate that I am not courageous enough to do those things, I think it is easily understable.

The more frustrating reason is that I am afraid of offending people. I tell my family and friends to go to this site (indeed, they are probably my only readers), so how can I write an opinion of mine that might offend them? When I realized this was the main reason my philosophy sucks, I felt really low, and very cowardly.

One more thing worth noting - unfortunately, updating this site has slowly, and perhaps necessarily, become something I have to get done. That's why my philosophy has gone downhill - because I wake up on Sunday morning and think "What the hell am I going to write about today?" If you think about it, almost everything in life follows this trend, at least to an extent. Even things like rest, relaxation, and recreation can become things you just have to get done, just to keep your life balanced. This results in enjoying these pleasures less than usual. Just an interesting thought to ponder.

After all that, however, I'm not sure if I can or if I want to do anything about it right away. Instead, I have been trying to think of ways to evolve The Vanilla Cigar into something better. In other words, I want to change the way I do this, somehow, so that I will write better philosophy. As of now, I plan to discontinue my weekly philosophy on the site's one year anniversary, then take whatever time is needed to implement the changes. I will post new ideas for the site in the forums, as I develop them. I sincerely hope that you, my readers, will discuss these ideas with me in the forums.